Why do I want to lose weight?

November 1, 2006 at 8:35 am (General Life, Weight Loss Updates)

My pretty-much-SIL blogged yesterday about joining a gym.

So I am so unsatisfied with my body right now that last night after walking three miles, I drove by a gym, and joined it.

I joined a gym at 6:30 last night. It’s an all women gym.

Hopefully, I can get myself back on this track of feeling good about myself again.

I also started to take a multi-vitamin and it made me break out.

Why can’t I just be happy with who I am/what I’ve got?

Which got me thinking. I am happy with who I am. I am happy with what I’ve got. I’ve always been a rather self-confident person about my body. I’ve had to be at an early age, since my 38DD’s sprung up at the oh-so-lovely age of 12.  

So,  why do I have this nag in the back of my head that says “lose 60 pounds”? As I’ve hit 27, rolling into 28, my body has started fighting back my “who cares” attitude about my weight. I’ve got stretch marks on my stomach. One going right across the dragon tattoo I have (that I got about 20 pounds ago). My size 16 pants aren’t fitting my waist, but fit my legs and butt fine. It’s all about the belly. Let me rephrase that – it’s all IN my belly.

I’m 5’2″, and when I weighted myself this week, I weighted 186lbs. But when I stick to the “24 points” that Weight Watchers gives me, I end up eating more than I usually do. I’ve used the excuse of “its my meds” for a while. Being on Advair (a steriod) and Lexapro (a SSRI) both are known for their weight gain. I’ve also noticed a lot of what I’m putting on is water weight – my hands and feet swell a lot before that time of the month.

So why do I care? It’s it a material thing – as in I don’t want to pay for a touch-up on my now odd looking tat, or larger clothes?

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3 Comments

  1. Rachel said,

    I honestly have no idea where my thoughts came from about wanting to lose weight. I was just sitting at my desk one day, eating some whole grain crackers, and was just so upset.

    I was the same weight all through high school (178lbs), I have been 5’8″ now since I was a freshmen in high school and recently, out of no where I put on a few pounds and it really bothers me and I don’t even know why. I don’t like how my clothes are fitting me, I don’t like that I can’t even run a third of a mile without losing all of my breath (not that I can really help that, but in my mind I think I can). Sometimes I even think that Abe doesn’t find me physically attractive anymore. I am in this state of mind where no one can like me for me, because at this point in time, I can’t even like myself.

    I swear things are never in a balance in my life. My work life is good, my family life is finally good, my relationship is good, but the way I feel about myself is terrible. I hate feeling this way, but I really can’t help it.

  2. dhaunae (Lani) said,

    Being happy with who you are and what you’ve got doesn’t preclude wanting to improve yourself, and we all have room for improvement in some way. Being healthier is a great self-improvement, and for most of us it includes weight loss — because even if we don’t have health problems now due to our weight we all know that may not hold true long-term. Maybe your body is smarter than mine and is telling you that now, instead of waiting to tell you that later? As for the eating more on Weight Watchers thing, the best diet I ever went on had me eating six meals a day. Honestly, it seemed like I never stopped eating … but nine weeks into it my boss looked at me as I walked into the office one morning and said “Damn. I can’t believe this, but you’ve eaten yourself skinny.”

  3. kinkylilblackdress said,

    Yeah, I can see the whole “self improvement” thing. I need to go get a physical soon anyway (before I leave work and lose my health insurence), so maybe I’ll talk to my doc about my meds, and if they really are causing weight gain, and what they think I should do to lose a few pounds.

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